• BOY: May I hold your hand?
    GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy.
  • GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!
    BOY: You love me...
  • GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring?
    BOY: Sure, what's your phone number?
  • GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest.
    BOY: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
  • GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
    BOY: Don't you ever want to improve?
  • BOY: I love you and I could die for you!
    GIRL: How soon?
  • BOY: I would go to the end of the world for you!
    GIRL: Yes, but would you stay there?
  • SHARON: Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss?
    TRACY: I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
  • MAN: You remind me of the sea.
    WOMAN: Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
    MAN: NO, because you make me sick.
  • WIFE: You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
    HUSBAND: You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
  • MARY: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?
    PETER: A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
  • Girlfriend: "...And are you sure you love me and no one else?"
    Boyfriend: "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
  • Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
    Pupil: "The moon".
    Teacher: "Why?"
    Pupil: "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
  • Teacher: "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
    Pupil: "A teacher".
  • Waiter: "Would you like your coffee black?"
    Customer: "What other colors do you have?"
  • My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
  • Teacher: "Sam, you talk a lot!"
    Sam: "It's a family tradition".
    Teacher: "What do you mean?"
    Sam: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
    Teacher: "What about your mother?"
    Sam: "She's a woman".
  • Tom: "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
    David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
  • Teacher: "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
    Student: "Brotherly love".
  • Teacher: "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
    Sam: "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
  • Patient: "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
    Doctor: "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
  • Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
    One Student: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."
  • Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
    One Student: "Because George still had the axe in is hand."